Constructive Criticism

The astute are aware that I link to the blog of my buddy, Ballista. Now I want to proffer some advice to my friend. Lay off the third-person references. I know you are a secretive sort, but use some pronouns every now and then. You are going past the silly Norm MacDonald/Bob Dole thing and entering into freaky territory. I'm just saying.

And when did you turn into the all-Russia, all-Red alert, all-the-time blog? We get the point (hehehe). I miss the cutting sarcasm of old.

That's life

"Nowhere or in a circle."

Me, out walking with a friend, explaining where the two forks in the path lead. Could this be a metaphor for something?



Photo by Daniel Séguin.

My New Favorite Brit

Jeremy Clarkson is my new favorite Brit. He just breaks me up with his snarky wit. He's funny in that English condescending way yet slightly goofy. Almost like John Cleese but less spastic and more intellectual. For those of you unfamiliar, Clarkson is longtime co-host of the popular BBC show, Top Gear, a more entertaining version of Car & Driver featuring more exotic cars, celebrities on a test track, and cool car-centered challenges. I could go on and on about Top Gear, but I'll suffice to say go find out more yourself - this post is dedicated to Mr. Clarkson.

In addition to discussing "motors", Clarkson is a thinker. He writes frequently on culture, politics, and "nitwits" in his Top Gear blog and in the Times of London. His bio from the Times describes him thus:

Jeremy Clarkson's career as car reviewer and BBC Top Gear presenter has made motoring into show business, but he has earned himself the description of an "equal opportunities loudmouth" for his opinionated commentary on all aspects of life.

You might guess that my affinity for Mr. Clarkson is based on more than his reviews of Aston Martins, and you are correct. I also like his voice. No, no, there's more. On many topics, I agree with his point of view. He's unapologetically British, as I'm unapologetically American, and that pretty much boils down to both of us wanting everyone else to bugger off and leave us alone to enjoy life as we see fit. He also has no compunctions about calling Communists, well, Communists, e.g., the Chinese, union laborers, and quite a few politicians. Perhaps not too surprisingly, some in Britain (and maybe some in America) would like to see Mr. Clarkson elected Prime Minister. I say, "BULLY!" To preview a potential PM Clarkson's policies, you can read about how he would rule the world, here.

I'll leave you with a teaser for Jeremy and Top Gear. Here he is, all 6 foot 5 inches of him, in the world's smallest car.





My former favorite Brit, you ask? This guy:

Dude, you're getting a Ford

Why can't I purchase and customize an automobile in the same manner as a laptop?

No, seriously. Stop snickering at me.

I can go online to Dell.com or half a dozen other computer companies and build a laptop to my preference. I get 4 different types of processors, 4 different sizes of RAM, 5 varieties of hard drive, not to mention pre-loaded software. My computer arrives several weeks, if not days later.

So why can't I build a car online? Not like the current attempts by Saturn and other makers. I'm thinking about the details, not the major components like the chassis and suspension; real wretch heads can continue to buy and install after-market parts for those. But parts like the head- and taillights, sound system, interior styling, gauges, side view mirror styles, should all be easily customizable before delivery to the buyer. Before delivery to the dealer, even. In fact, if mass customization could be implemented to the auto industry, dealers wouldn't have to stock so much inventory. That means less upfront costs to the dealer - and lower overall costs because of no, or less interest payments on loans to buy inventory. And valuable cars would not be sitting out in vast parking lots open to damaging weather, theft, arson, and other events that add to insurance and carrying costs. This system also has the potential to do away, once and for all, with those insipid "close out sale" advertisements that your local dealer runs every other month on radio and television. (Do you have to be a special kind of jerk to produce those ads?)

Okay, I'm rambling on the financial aspects. Back to the heart of the matter. Let's take the Honda Civic as an example. Instead of my local dealer trying to find a Civic somewhere in the US with the exact options I want, I go online to select my options. Instead of just choosing the color of the interior, I should be able to select the seat style. I want 4 types of sound system, not just basic CD or 6-disc surround sound. I want a variety of spoiler and grill options.

Perhaps another question I should be asking is whether Americans will wait 2 weeks upon ordering a customized Honda before it arrives in their driveway, fresh from the plant. Unfortunately for my mix-and-match desires, I think not. People like and are excited by the convenience and thrill of driving off the lot with their new baby, I suspect.

New line of thought... is there room in the marketplace for a middleman who purchases those Hondas wholesale (plain vanilla probably), then customizes to the wishes of customers via online ordering?

I will probably devote far too much time and far too many brain cells to pondering this alternative auto shopping experience. Yet, I just can't get past thinking that that the only reason we as consumers do not see radical changes in auto manufacturing and delivery (a la other manufacturing industries) is that we as Americans attach too much sentimental value to the this industry. I, for one, reason that when Detroit represents your status quo, it's time for a change.

Pity Party?

Have you heard about this credit crisis thing? Yeah, been kinda popular in the press lately. Lots of stories of problems, write-downs, foreclosures, layoffs, fraud, defaults, and failures in the real estate and financial markets. Given that, which groups of workers do you think have been crying themselves to sleep every night?

So, imagine my grin when a friend forwarded me this flyer for a business networking event in Philadelphia.

Unless the drink special is Jonestown Kool-Aid, I don't think this will be a particulary "Happy" hour for those young professionals. My advice to them, save your money and spend your time looking for a refrigerator box. You'll need it after the bank you once did business with repossesses your BMW and your shiny new condo. But don't feel too bad, when the bank takes the condo back, it will only be worth 1/3 as much as your mortgage, so the bank is really doing you a favor. And the labor market is not all bad... I hear that demand for crop pickers is sky high. Cheers!

Three for Thinking

InnoCentive. "Win cash awards of up to $1,000,000 for your creative solutions to Challenges"

Flypaper. "The easiest way to create, edit and share interactive content that can be used for live presentations or over the Web"

Technology Review. "The authority on the future of technology." Published by MIT.

Wanted: Spell Checker

Raise your hand when you have found the 'Oops'.

Match Maker, Match Maker...

2008. The year of the online match-maker wars. History will recall the tens of thousands of teary-eyed singles cut down in the cross fire. Indeed, the web rivals were a match made in HELL!

Ok, I've already discussed fat overweight people on television. So now it's on to those annoying commercials for Chemistry.com or whatever it's called. You know the ones, with the poor souls thoroughly flummoxed by the rejection of their application by E-Harmony. But I'm digressing from what I really want to say.

I would really like to conduct a research study of the success of these various match-makers. I'm curious what effect, if any, their matching/comparison algorithms have on the outcomes of paired couples. Specifically, I wonder if people convince themselves that the man or woman they get matched with are "really great" only because some computer program tells them so. Admittedly, this would be a daunting task, separating out the effects of all the variables, but surely some freakonomist out there could crunch the data. There are probably some ethical issues, too, but come on... these people are rejects anyway. The computer said so.

I Love Technology

This is simply amazing. I have a special affinity for technology that fuses dispersed visual content with an interactive experience. To echo some of the comments on the TED.com web page, this guy needs to get together with this guy. I seriously wish I had even the slightest clue how to design and build software like this - I'm lucky if I can get macros to function in Excel - because these applications are just so cool.

Let's hope that Microsoft doesn't muddle Photosynth all up.

The Scale Must be Wrong

Have you seen the National Body Challenge programming on Discovery Health yet? It's great television. One series has sets of obese twins getting fit over a period of months. You see them go from flab to fit through exercise and moderated eating. No invasive surgeries, no wacky diets. Plus, the twins all confront the psychological factors that have led to their over-eating. All this is what people really need to see - individuals taking responsibility for themselves and their behavior and achieving fitness, physically and mentally. No shortcuts, no gurus, no blame, nothing purely superficial.

I really enjoyed watching these people overcome their obesity from the comfort of my bed while eating Chinese food.