A (Red) Banner Day

It is May Day, comrades! And what a glorious day for the proletariat is it. Those vile capitalist corporations General Motors and Chrysler are now securely in the hands of the State and the unions, just as it should have been all along. Dear Leader Obama has justly redistributed the means of production from the guilty financial pigs who took money from the masses and enriched the hapless heads of these vital national industries. If not for these brave moves by the State, the proud workers, whose labor is the root of all production, would have been left robbed of their entitled place in the factory.

Now, the unions, which tirelessly strive for the benefit of the common worker, will direct the activities of the auto giants. In addition, "our friends from Italy" at Fiat will ensure that the latest socially responsible policies from Europe are enacted, and that no trouble is caused by bourgeois provocateurs. Yes, Fiat, which has been slandered by agents of the West with the moniker "Fix It Again Tom" will help bring culturally progressive transportation to the people. Indeed, the compassionate State and its enlightened partners have "fixed it".

Additionally, the banks, which once sought only profit - the evil of all mankind - now follow the will of the State, ensuring efficient transfers of wealth to the unions. The auto makers never need worry about "money" again, leaving them free to maintain proper employment levels that will give a living wage to all workers, regardless of skill or seniority.

Soon, new cars will be rolling off the line. Cars that reflect the glory of the State in ushering forward a future of social equality. Of course, consistent with goals of the progressive society, cars will be distributed fairly, without callous regard for income or status. We can all be assured that the great and wondrous State and the unions will make excellent design selections. These will be cars that you will have no choice but to drive - literally.

Let us give thanks to our benevolent leader Obama and his deputies, and to the people's servants the unions. With our support they will surely extend their wise policies to every other industry. Already we see their efforts in the energy and health care sectors. Hope and Change are upon us! An illustrious May Day. Let us sing...